I don’t really know what to say here. I don’t think many are going to bother with reading it. So I guess I’ll start with saying this:
My time here has come to an end.
Lord knows I loved being here; I loved everyone here in this family, even if we didn’t talk so much or at all, or even if we talked on the daily. When I first embarked on this journey my intention were to never start an RP. I just got the idea for this from Super Junior Naughty blog. I saw some fans taking well to that concept, so I thought, “I wonder how people would take to a dirty Tabi type thing?” Needless to say some of you all know it took very well with people; some of you were my first fans. So here I was a few weeks later, Dirty Seunghyun, making my fans happier than happy, and I was okay with that. I was more than okay with that seeing as I didn’t think I was going to get anyone in the first place, but before I knew it, I had a partner in crime, my Dirty Jiyong, and more fans began to flock to us. Then Seungri and Youngbae showed up, followed by the 2NE1 girls. Then DBSK and SHINee. That’s when we really began to take off, I think.
I, well Jiyong and I had no intention of making this into an RP, but with as many people that began to show up, we figured that we should come together as a community, and that’s is when all the rules came into play. I love how together we were back then. We all talked things out and we were all cordial with each other. Scratch that, we acted like a real family. We all were there for one another, we could approach whoever we wanted to, and when we got new people in the family, we would welcome them with open arms. I think we are far from that now.
I can admit that there were a lot of things that Jiyong as well as myself could have handled better in the past. A lot of situations we could have handled better than we did. I feel that our downfall started when we eliminated the ‘No Relationships’ rule. With the original concept that was in place we probably should have let that rule stay in place for all the reasons in the world. But anyone who knows me knows how honest and straight forward I will be, and I’m just going to say, I don’t regret taking that rule down because if it weren’t for that I wouldn’t have found the love of my life, IC and OOC. I know some of you might see that as selfish, and maybe it is, but I said I would be honest and I’m doing exactly that.
I feel as if we’re working towards a goal that’s unattainable here in the family. We say that we want it back to the way it was, but, to be blunt, it’s not going to get back to how we were; we can’t. We will probably never be as close knit as we once were before. I’m not knocking anyone who is trying their hardest to make a difference, more power to you. All I’m saying is that getting back to where we were shouldn’t be the main goal to making changes here, it should have been moving forward…making completely new changes different from the past. Even if you have to completely revamp the RP; give it a new name, a theme with a plot, whatever. At this point with the reputation that I know for a fact that has been harvest here, that might be just what this place needs for a complete change.
Some of you know by now that I stepped down as admin a month ago because I couldn’t handle the pressure (and if you you didn’t know, well…surprise!) anymore. Now I need to go, because I can no longer stand to see the place that I loved go down…I can’t stand to see people who were here for the longest, even if I wasn’t on the best of terms with them, leave. It hurts me to my heart to do this, but I cannot take the pain that this place now literally gives me on the daily. RPing used to be fun to me, but now the longer I try to stay here, it’s becoming a burden. So I’m starting over elsewhere. I love you all so much and it pains me to just leave like this but I have to keep my heart in tact. All I can say is thank you so much for the wonderful times I’ve had here, Dirty Family and fans alike. You might have ill feelings for me after reading this but however you choose to think of me is completely your choice. This is something I have to do for me. I want to happy again RPing, surely you all can understand that.
Soon I’ll be abandoning this account, but I won’t deactivate it; there are too many memories here that I want to keep. I’ll be joining the anon world as Dirty-Seunghyun-Anon, and you’ll be able to reach me there as well as firstname.lastname@example.org. I don’t want to lose any of the friends I’ve made here at all.
Before I end this letter to everyone, I just want to say that, you all have made me so, so happy being here…this place was honestly my escape from everything reality wise and I’ve made some of my best friends being here…I loved being an admin while I held that title…and it’s hurting so bad to write this because I’m too attached to this place to just let it go…just like that.
I…just thank you everyone, for making my experience here a pleasant one while it lasted.
I won’t say goodbye…I’ll just say I hope to see you soon.